hard rock

Tell Me Baby All Through the Night by Beth Winegarner

Mike Tramp of White Lion.

Mike Tramp of White Lion.

When I was in my teens and 20s, I would occasionally have dreams in which I became friends with a musician I admired. We would take long walks together, talk for hours, snuggle and hold hands. Or I would dream that something stressful was happening, but then suddenly Metallica would arrive and start playing music, launching a fun, impromptu party that made all the stressful things go away.

It’s common wisdom, especially these days, that everyone (and everything) in our dreams is an aspect of ourselves. I’ve written about how I fell in love with hard rock and heavy metal as a teenager, because the music comforted and soothed me so much. I also had crushes on many of the musicians, both because they were so good-looking, and because they made music that was such a good friend to me.

I dreamed at least once of spending a day with Guns N’ Roses singer Axl Rose. Although I now see him as a very problematic (and racist, homophobic, and misogynist) person, as a teenager I saw him as a troubled/wounded soul. Sometimes I imagined I could heal him; other times I’m pretty sure I identified with his woundedness. In the dream we talked and talked and hugged and hugged. It was really sweet.

In another dream I met up with White Lion singer Mike Tramp in Copenhagen, and he showed me around the city as we talked and held hands. At the end of the day — I still remember this clearly — we sat on the stoop outside his house and snuggled. Tramp projected an image of a good-hearted guy, deeply worried about the state of the planet and unafraid to love. It was that sweetness that came through in the dream.

I wrote to Tramp about the dream, telling him all the details and how I wished we could be friends in real life. He didn’t reply. That’s okay.

These days, I see these dreams as an effort on the part of my subconscious to befriend and love different parts of myself, whether it’s a part that feels broken, a sensitive part, or a part that wants to soothe a tense situation with music and joy. In them I felt so much peace and love, and I’d wake up missing the person I’d dreamed of. That was the hardest part. They felt so real.

I rarely have such dreams anymore. I miss them.